So, we haven't used the best judgement at all times. We've made some stupid choices. Some very stupid mistakes. But, we've always said that if the head count comes out at lucky number 5, we're doing fine.
But there is this one mistake, that nudges at me. It nudges because it's continuing to his very day. This one mistake is not going away, and it sort of sucks you up into itself, and perpetuates. It's not one of those did it, oops, never again, learn, reflect, move-on mistakes; it's one of those slow, addictive ones that kill you softly.
We left our homes to become a bonded, simple, connect-to-nature, healthy family. That is why we became a nomadic family. And, on our journey, we've gotten bored, read books, meandered and explored, sat on hammocks or blankets under starry nights; we've walked on beaches during sunsets, and have done puzzles for hours all the while chit chatting away. We've done so much of the real stuff we wanted to do.
And then, the mistake began. It started out nice and slow, and slithered it's way into my soul. "Hey, what if we make a blog to remember our experiences. A nice little online keepsake journal for us!" Then,, "Hey, what if our blog brings traffic and then someone may want to donate money for our volunteer efforts!" Which turned into, "Hey, let's write some e-books and sell some products that are really good and then, people will spend money on this good stuff, and then, we can keep doing long-term travel forever".... and eventually it became:
"Let's not sit and relax and do any of those family or couplehood things we love to do. In fact, let's stop being and let's just be productive and effective all day and night and in our actions and in my dreams and in every waking moment, let's figure out how to get more twitter friends, more YouTube subscribers, more clicks to the blog, and more Facebook Friends! Actually, family, could you please go away and stop bothering me, so that I can write another great article about how travel has bonded our family, cuz this one will bring us tons of traffic!"
And so, my mistake has been in losing the balance between bringing funding to our trip AND not being in it anymore; between living and being and enjoying my family and these tropical paradises that we now call home AND sharing these stories so much that I lost their magic smell; between being unplugged and breathing and simple and alive AND being plugged and obsessed and addicted to the potential of what the online world could bring my family.
Maybe you've also felt that technology has robbed you of life? Maybe you also sometimes wonder if the awesome advantages are worth the painful costs? I would love to hear how you create the balance. Any and all tips and reflections are so appreciated.
I appreciate BootsNAll inviting travel bloggers like me to be inspired and think. And now, with that, I'm going to get offline and find my children, and go be with them. :-)
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13 Comments:
Great post Gabi. One of my worries too! I plan to allow myself to plug in for 2 hours each morning while the kids are doing their schooling and then only at night once the day is done. I don't want our time away to just be more of the same!!!
I find that for me I just need to find balance. I love the act of blogging. I love (almost) every aspect of it--from the writing, to the building and the analytics, and especially interacting with others in the blogging community. I am an entrepreneur at heart and in the end building a blog is an act of entrepreneurship.
I get fulfillment from blogging. A type of fulfillment I simply cannot get by only adventuring with my family. I love my family. I love the adventuring. I love sitting on the beach with them (someday when my kids are older I'd love to take a nap at the beach).
Just can't let blogging or anything else get in the way of what is most important to me in life, and that's being a husband to my wife and a dad to my kids.
Because I am driven, and I do enjoy it, I really have to set boundaries. As I've shared before, for me this means committing to not doing anything digital after 8 PM on Friday and Saturday nights. That's time for me and my wife now. It also means having dedicated family times where I unplug and disconnect from everyone in the world except the people who are with me at that moment.
Hi there - I love your blogging, but totally get where you are coming from. Maybe a brief resume each night, on a piece of paper (that stuff we used before computer screens) and at the end of the week do a slightly longer blog - so once a week we get an update, and the rest of the time is spent experiencing things that will go into the blog.
Technology has many benefits - but I almost resent my mobile phone sometimes - I don't feel able to leave home without it, just in case something goes wrong, or I am needed by one of my children. My computer forms an important social benefit for me - when I am too tired, or feeling poorly, it is my line to the outside world - but power cuts can be my best friend - no electricity means no computer :-D
Find the balance which suits your very unusual life style just now, and your followers will still be there - and appreciating your experiences just the same.
Be safe, love Wendy xox
Tracey, Clark, and Wendi. How strengthening your words are. Balance, balance, balance, you are right friends. Turning it off, setting limits and being with those before me... speaking of which, Kobi is walking through the front door. he went on a date with himself, and i want to be there fully to listen. much love.
HA! Now you are speaking my language GABI! I will be sending you an article I wrote a while back.
Balances is key. It is a must. And you will find it if you look hard enough. It takes time, lots of searching.
I carry my blog with me at all tiems of the day in my head. My brain is always writing. And then the kids ask me a question and it takes me 3 minutes to answer because I am off in blogging dreamland.
Clark and others are so right. You need to give yourself boundaries. Find what works and set it. Now, of coarse the dilemma lies in the need to make money. Well, consider this:
My work and commute occupy nealry 50 hours of my week. So while traveling can I cut that in half. Imagine what 5 hours of blogging, 5 days a week would produce. Work smart!
Heidi and I have a plan to work mornings 5 days a week. We switch each day. She schools kids, I work, and we swap the next day. By 12 noon are work day is done.
You have to have a plan and stick to it. I say this like it is easy, but it is not, I struggle with this, but I believe it is the only way.
You will do iT! Accept that Rome wasn't built in a day. Take baby steps and keep your family close.
GREAT, GREAT POST!
I'm glad I found your site today (through Emiel's suggestion). I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. I had a good experience with shutting it off last year...my baby became very ill, and the only things I could do every day were go to work and take care of my kids. Everything else didn't matter at all. A few months later when things got back to normal, my blog was still there (even though with very few followers), and now I am blogging again, but that lesson made me realize that its position in my life. It is an outlet that I enjoy but can tune out when needed. It's hard to balance, but we must. :-)
I like to read this, because it makes me a little more cautious, maybe less ambitious about the blogging on alloverthemap. We initially thought we'd each blog a few times a week about our travel plans, and post a few articles about where we live and where we travel, but we really found the constant blogging to be outside of our comfort zone. Even more so while traveling. I don't think we've quite hit our perfect stride yet, but I'm glad to read about how others are dealing with it.
Justin, yes, balance. It's what we all want in our lives, otherwise, we get 'off'. We do have a plan, and often it works, but more often it doesn't. This applies also to educating the kids (which you, Jenna, and Tracey spoke of) for example. We plan to get up and study... but then we're moving so we try on planes, trains, and automobiles but it doesn't always work. We're out to travel so we want to experience what's out there. And then there's the rainy season issue. We did morning studies for a long time, and then sat indoors all afternoon while it poured. We voted to change the order of our day- to start with outdoor activity and then do studies while its raining anyway. Well, that becomes very colorful for us: we discover a new trail, meet a new friend, come back exhausted....and there goes school for the day.
But it's all part of noting picking a conventional lifestyle. If my kids were in school and we had a routine built for us, things would fit in more clearly. But, alas, the joys of unknown, uncertainty and family adventure include reinventing your limits all the time. We'll take it!
Rome was not built in a day. Thank you. I think i'm going to write that onto my backpack with black permanent marker.
Thank you for the thoughtful, heartfelt reply.
I agree, it is VERY hard to find that balance. My husband and I are self-employed (and of course there is that hope of building a profitable blog, as well!) and it is SOOO hard to balance that good life we WANT, with the work that is required to support that good life!! Sometimes I feel rotten that I'm waving my kids away from the computer while I'm working on something...but I also try to share with them what I'm doing ("I can help you in 10 minutes, but right now I am working to make some money, and we buy our food with that money. Do you want us to still buy food?!!"). Hopefully at least they will understand it is not just fun and games that keeps me digitally connected (like some others who are addicted to the internet)! ::sigh:: If only I could be soooo much closer to being a perfect parent!!
Jenna, How wonderful it is when God/the Universe/ Cosmos help us see what is truly important. When your baby was ill, none of this mattered. And so, now, a few days later, I've been marinating on your comments and I see that my life is here, with my family, with the experiences I am living. And, that I have another side life online but it's not my real life, it's like Cheers, going to the bar to see my friends. And now, I'm beginning to live that way: live with my family and this amazing travel around the world, and, when all is quiet and it's my time, I enter that other world. Not the other way around. Thank you for your thoughts Jenna. And thanks to Emiel for sending you our way. Much love, Gabi
We too ran into the same problem. We were hitting each state trying to find wifi instead of enjoying the beauty just so some hopeful followers would read and get excited to do the same. We got totally burnt out. Trying to manage all the photos, blogs, status updates, etc etc, and a 18 month old was wearing us thin. We are happy we are not blogging as much, but yet we feel obligated to fill that need even though we don't have many followers. I have decided that further trips will not be sponsored, or will have minimal sponsor requirements, and we will only blog biweekly or monthly. It is crazy that you try to simplify and be present and you are soon drawn back to the internet world. You guys are an inspiration and I am happy to have found your blog :-) Now get outside and explore :-)
Jenny and Rolf my dears,
I was so there. So totally there and not sure how this was supposed to be an inspiration and life-changing way of live if I was always mentally somewhere else. Thank you for finding us and thanks for reinspiring me to stay on my new path.
If you can see, I blog much less these days. I went from posting a youtube video on our channel every day to much, much, much less. And now, crazy thing happening... I'm here, living with my family, on the road, and seeing the world. Loving Ecuador with very little internet access at my fingertips. Loving it! Would love to hear more from you two and how things are going.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and share,
Gabi
thank you jenna. thank you. i feel the same way now. actually, though i loooove comments and followers and having my blog be a conversation, i am fully overjoyed for it to be my personal online journal. and if i read it more than anyone else, then it is there to inspire me. and if others find it inspirational, then i am touched and honored. it is here when i need it. :-)
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