No One Told Me I'd Be Lonely

 

This entry has video of me crying, cuz I'm really sad. The kids lately have missed their friends; Kobi misses having friends. I was the empathetic listener, until I broke down, and felt something missing, empty too.  I miss having people who love me and have known me for a loooooong time [These are Gold]. As a nomadic family traveling the world, we are constantly meeting new. beautiful strangers-turned-friends. [Those are Silver]. But, because I suck at keeping up with people; I feel sad. Of course, in a second, I could fix that; but I don't. These are the sad moments when I feel lonely on the road as we travel the world.

In Alto Boquete, Panama 

We're in the cabana in Alto Boquete, Panama and investing some very quiet time, introverted within ourselves. We don't want to fall in love with any new friends; we don't want to get hurt again, leaving them. And so, we're spending a great deal of time just us. We're using Panama as a resting ground to reflect on how is the best way to volunteer (with all of our hearts), without getting hurt. The time within is glorious . 

Lately, the kids are talking about their birthdays and feeling down that no one will come to their birthday parties. They are genuinely stressed out about it. We're listening with empathy. We're suggesting all the ways, all the more-personal, family-oriented celebrations one can have in celebrating themselves. So, they are there; and lately, Kobi has been saying he wants more friends. I'm listening, supporting, offering meek solutions; and then it hits me, and hard: I MISS MY FRIENDS AND I SUCK AT KEEPING UP WITH THEM! 

So, I'm missing having friends and I do love crying. So, join my little pity party. It's cute, right?

In all truth, we have always loved change, and though we love our family and friends; we moreso like to feel free and (how do I say it properly) "obligation free". We don't like owing anyone anything, sort of like we want to be free spirits that are with the people they love, when they want, guilt-free, obligation-free. Not sure if I'm expressing it in a way that makes sense, but I get it. 

Either way, the Jewish New Year was a wonderful rejuvenation for us. We received those generic "personalized" mass-internet holiday wishes online from everyone and their dog. We Skyped and googletalked with everyone we've ever missed. We heard voices that we missed and saw faces that we love. Dahnya got Kobi's contact list and started calling every name and number she recognized. She even called old babysitters! It was awesome, and filled our need for golden friends, those who know and love us, just like we are, as our complete and complicated selves.

 

 



Gold in Houston

Ah. To meet old friends.I spent most of my life in Houston, and had dear friends there. Friends who raised me, mentored me, loved me a child, as a young woman, and as a young mom.
To be reacquainted with those who loved me for so many years, and then didn't see me for almost as long. After those first few minutes of 'hi, who are you again?' , time melted away as if none had passed at all. Ok,so you can't deny we're all fatter with more wrinkles, but other than that; our younger, shining selves still recognized that which made us fall in love with each other in our yesteryear. Reunions are glorious for the soul.

Kobi, Veronica, and Shlomi

Shabbat dinner with my mentor Karen and Sam, Ella and Larissa

Kobi and Sam

Sarita and Dahnya

In the Houston Zoo with the Levines

Janelle! What a sweetie!

With old and dearest friends Veronica, Shlomi, Cherie and Doron

Dear, dear friends Jodi and Efrat with us and Grandfather Nick

Kobi feeling like Charlie with his angels

Gold in Israel-- Dear Friends


I've spent the last 8 years of my life living in a small, quiet periphery town in the rolling hills of the Upper Galilee Valley of Northern Israel. The people whom have adopted me like brother and sister have changed my life, and witnessed by spiritual growth. They've seen me as a lost stranger, a homeschooling mother, an educational visionary, a soul seeking to be clean, and a happily married woman daring to dream. I love my friends. I do. (I also realize I've taken so few pictures with them). So, those not included in picture, are no less there in spirit).

My first friend in Israel, my dear Liat Zafrani helps us pack

In our closing days, Ditza plays with kids so that I can pack

friends at school

The staff, kids, and school community parents were so central to our lives

the whole gang in all their color and magic

Me and Liat Ahayon (Ditza's over my shoulder)

Orazi's best friend Omri

Liat Ahayon and her family

Good bye thank you signs we made to border the school when we left

Last time our 'other' son Assaf gets to spend the night

Dahnya's best friend Shaked and sweet sister Sharon

Steven, fellow world traveler who took our dog for a month two years ago

Kobi and best friend Isaac competing for Israel's Amazing Race

Oh, dear faithful friend Tal

Yehudit and Sharon at Snir Stream

Gold in Israel-- Our Families

Kobi and two of five of his siblings, Ram and Ofer

Orazi and Kobi's parents

The cousins

Our kids and my sister's four children.

Eitan and Adrianna

Orazi and Lylaac

Dahnya, best friend Shaked, cousin Adrianna

My sister Sigal and Jim and their four kids, saying goodbye

My sister-in-laws. They are dear friends: Eti, Tzippi, and Mira

Posted in: Discovering Ourselves, Tough Times